It is often thought that sympathy, sociality, and comfort come naturally from people, but in reality, learning to become a comfortable person can learn.
In a study at the University of California, subjects rated more than 500 descriptions of people based on how they see a nice person. Most of the descriptions had nothing to do with sociability, intelligence, or appearance charm.
Instead, the most common descriptions were related to sincerity, openness, and understanding. People like this are often social and emotionally intelligent.
If you want others to like you, you should avoid behaviors that make you look bad in the eyes of others.
It’s not a bad thing to know famous or influential people in any way, but cultivating the names of these people in every possible case can make you look arrogant and even silly – people can easily see through it.
Namedropping doesn’t make you seem like an interesting person, it makes people feel insecure and not liked easily. If you tell everything you know through people you know and not through your own knowledge or opinions, the conversation will often be very superficial.
When you speak kindly and concisely, people will listen to you better than trying to show that you are important.
2. Emotional instability
Emotional instability is associated with poor emotional intelligence. Throwing objects, shouting, making people cry, and other similar signs make people question your reliability as well as your stability.
3. Hidden self-praise
Chances are you know a person who brags about belittling himself. An example of such a person is a person who spoils how nerdy he is, even though he really wants others to pay attention to how smart he really is. Another example is a person who laughs at how strict a diet he is, even though he really wants you to notice how healthy and fit he is.
Such bragging is often frustrating, not because of the bragging itself, but because it is being tried to cover up. In reality, such activity is clearly visible through the person.
4. Using the phone
Nothing is as annoying as people digging out of their phone pocket in the middle of a conversation and starting to reply to a message or just checking that no notifications have just received.
When talking to someone, focus on him or her and yourself. You’ll find that conversations become more enjoyable and effective when you focus on them.
If you want people to like you, openness and open-mindedness are emphasized, as they make you approachable and interesting in the eyes of others. No one wants to talk to someone whose opinions are sharp and there is no room for the thoughts of others. Openness is especially important in the workplace, where accessibility helps to generate new ideas and get help.
You can try to get rid of preconceptions by looking at the world through the eyes of others. However, that does not mean that everything should be agreed upon. However, openness can help you stop unnecessary criticism before you know it.
6. You don’t ask enough
The biggest mistake people make when discussing is too much focus on what you say next. It would be important to focus on what the other is saying and react to it. If you focus too much on yourself, the conversation will easily become superficial and irrelevant.
It is good to ask a lot. People like to be listened to, and asking a specific question not only shows that you are listening, but that the words of another are important to you.
7. Too much reality
People who are passionate are usually considered. Here, however, there is a danger that too much passion for something will make it a reality.
Liked people know how to balance their work as well as their fun. They know how to be true to their work, but are friendly. They get things done because they are effectively socially active. They focus on maintaining contact with their co-workers.
People often make themselves look bad when gossiping. In a conversation, trashing other people’s things can hurt their feelings if gossip reaches them.
Even if the gossip doesn’t reach its target, it will make you look negative and malicious.
9. Too much to share your own things too early
Getting to know new people requires sharing a certain amount of personal things but being too open-minded may not be worth it. Avoid telling personal problems and confessions too early.
Too much opening can make others feel like a dictator to whom you pour all your sorrows.
10. Too much sharing on social media
Studies show that people who share things on social media do so because they seek approval from others. Sharing on social media is a good form of expression for many, but it should be done with thought and self-discipline. If you canonize for others what you ate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or how many times you walked your dog, it can cause more harm than good.