If in the winter season there is a boom in appointments for those looking for stability, love, and pampering, in the summer the desire for fun and sociability does not lower the statistics. The desire to meet new people and socialize leads to a dating boom that also translates into other trends, one of the latest is called hardballing.
HARDBALLING: WHAT IS IT?
Being single and venturing into the world of dating isn’t always a walk in the park. We have talked far and wide in these pages about the most unpleasant trends, such as ghosting and orbiting, trying to warn against the most common red flags. But what is this new dating trend known as Hardballing?
Hardballing refers to making clear intentions and expectations about knowledge even before the appointment. It applies as much to those looking for love stories and serious relationships, as to those looking for a one-night stand. In practice, even before going out, you are confronted about what you are looking for: simple dating without too much commitment, a sex story, or an exclusive and solid relationship. Obviously, it is not said that both participants in the date practice hardballing: it may very well happen that only one of the two decides to give this set to the exit.
Many, nicely, have defined hardballing as going out with a CEO: a perfectly prepared person, with clear goals in mind … in short, it is not a simple exit but an appointment with a very clear and declared intention.
Clarity is absolutely mutual; both partners declare their intentions so that cards can be played face up. No deceptions, nothing << I’ll call you back tomorrow >> that doesn’t have a following. You may have happened to go out with someone, have a FABULOUS date, and then at the end of the evening, you realize that you are not going in the same direction.
You have just left an important relationship and are looking for something light, on the contrary, he wants to fall in love. Or the other way around, you are looking for true and overwhelming love and he for an adventure. With Hardballing this clash of different goals can be avoided, making sure that nobody suffers.
Some have defined hardballing as “hitting reality in the face” and in a certain sense it is; it might sound like a cold shower but it will surely avoid misunderstandings. Also because sincerity often pays off and avoids subsequent disappointments. But are we sure this is always the case?
HOW TO HARDBALLING
Wondering how to hardball using a dating app or replying to social messages? In order to do this, you must first clarify within yourself what your goals are; before signing up for a dating app or starting dating another person you should work on yourself to be considered a resolute person.
Once this is done, then you will have a balanced and positive knowledge but above all, you will have clear intentions. Attention, nothing wrong with looking for a light relationship compared to a serious one but it is good that the other person is perfectly informed. Maybe you are looking for the same thing or maybe it will move away but you can be sure you have not hurt it.
Making someone hardball requires communicative clarity: assertiveness used as a tool for dialogue is absolutely ok, but it is essential that the message arrives in a clear, but also diplomatic and thoughtful way.
HOW TO REACT TO HARDBALLING
What do you do if our approach to dating is much more “carefree” and you get hardballing from the person we are dating? How do you react to a person who immediately sets the record straight by saying that whatever happens, she doesn’t want a story, or that on the contrary, she can’t wait to get engaged?
Let’s face it: situations of this type have actually always existed, well before Gen Z arrived, even if this type of attitude tended to be looked upon with suspicion.
What is certain is that such a clear statement of intent could leave disoriented, or cool expectations and feelings. Probably, especially when the intentions of the person do not match their own, it is often not taken well. One feels discarded and sidelined ahead of time, or senselessly under pressure – depending on the intentions made clear by our date.
Undergoing hardballing could lead to your own insecurities, but on the one hand, it should also be considered that in some cases it is a great time-saving. In addition, being confronted with reality gives us the possibility of choice: if the objectives are so different, we can also decide to give up the date.
WHAT ABOUT THE DISADVANTAGES?
In short, hardballing would seem incredibly convenient, but perhaps we should also reflect on the fact that we are talking about meeting a person for romantic purposes, not about an appointment with the accountant. Declaring even before going out with a person that you don’t want a relationship, or that on the contrary, you want a relationship could be a bit rushed because life doesn’t always go the way we decide, especially when feelings are involved. Objectively, it is impossible to decide what relationship we will have with a person before we even know him. We may be in a time when we don’t want relationships, and then knowing the very person who makes us want to be in a couple. Just as being on the lookout for an exclusive relationship doesn’t mean we get engaged to the first person we date.